Family

We are a motley crew
Come on up on The Porch and meet everybody
My nephew Kelley, who was a guitar and dobro player for a great band until he broke his family's heart and became a police officer. He said, "y'all are the weirdest people ever. Most families want their sons to have a job that pays the bills"
Evelyn, my great-niece, who looks like Tweety Bird
Eileen, the Best Aunt in the Entire World (just ask any of the kids)
She bought Mariah so many toys when she was little, she thought her name was Wal Mart.
Judy, the sister in law I love so much because as long as she is around, the family will never talk about how weird I am.She and Tom's brother David live so far out in the woods that even the grandkids' tricycles are up on blocks.
She makes herbal remedies that either cure you or taste so bad you lie and say you feel better.
Patrick , Eileen's husband , who I beat over the head and scream "slow down"when ever I ride with him except when I have to call him to come get me when my car is bad.
Seth, who came to his great grandfather's graveside with his own shovel.
Kathy, Kelleys wife and Katie, who is in training to be a massage therapist (and from the looks of it, may need more lessons)
Just a few of this wild cast of characters around here.
How could I ever leave this place?
Who knows what will happen next?

Beach Trip

We had a great day at the beach.
It was raining cats and dogs in town when we came home!
The whole time we were there we were laughing at this Goth guy who was at the beach in combat boots long black pants and a jacket with a hood.!
Several times I thought I might have to go in and save him from drowning as he tried to swim in that garb!
Then I'll be damned if he didn't come over, flop down on our blanket and try to pick up Caitlin!
"Of all the boys on the beach,babe" I told her as we went back into the waves....

Still Another Conversation at My House

Caitlin is holding up a box of delicious Empty Calorie cereal.
"Mom, how come you let me eat this now?
When I was little , if sugar was listed in the first three ingredients, we couldn't have it."
"Well,"I replied, "You are pretty much grown and have basically healthy eating habits now.
Besides, I worry about you consuming other unhealthy substances like alcohol, cocaine, Xstacy....
sugar is way down on my list of concerns at this point."
Mariah brandishes the box,
 "no more Spermpuffs for you, my pretty!"she chortles.

Weekend Assignment # 173

How many Deadheads does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he's still doing it 20 years later and 5000 more are  taping him doing it and talking about how great it was.

 

Another Conversation Overheard at my House

I am struggling to stay awake to watch an old ER segment
(yes, I know, how do I stand the excitement)
Trying to get an update on a part I dozed off in, I ask Mariah,"Now who is that woman?"
"That's his fiance."
Caitlin pops up, looking at the middle aged blonde Caucasian woman on the screen and is aghast
"THAT"S BEYONCE?"

Mariah

My oldest daughter reminds me of the song "Meet Virginia"
"She never compromises
loves babies and surprises
wears high heels when she exercises"
Mariah is
pink
 fluffy
frilly
steel.
She will go on a rant that is like a comedy routine about some guy she sees at a red light.
She rescues stray kittens
brings home baby rabbits
while dressed to the nines
without a hair out of place
She brings me coffee in bed before she goes to work.
She buys me expensive cosmetics I would NEVER buy for myself.
She does the sweetest things
because
to hear her tell it,
"I only like about 6 people so I can be extra nice to those few"
She has loved the same man since she was 16,
helped deliver her best friends baby,
does impromptu dance routines in convenience stores.
She has been the one I go to when the proverbial excrement hits the air conditioner since she was 12 years old.
She tells us all what to do
and we do it
Tom and I wonder where we got her from
We are happy if we can recall where we parked our car
Mariah alphabetizes her purse!
She loves deep
laughs hard
and always makes a fashion statement.
She is
billowy comforters
dark chocolate
Barbie dolls
and crime novels
She is the person you can call at 3 AM
She is the best friend I've ever had.
She is the foundation of The Porch.

Meet Mariah.

Independence Day

It was a rainy day.
It's been so long since it has rained that we didn't complain too much.
We were just soggy.
I woke Caitlin up singing,"You're a Grand Ol' Flag"
I feel she was less than appreciative.
Tori made a Jello dessert.
And we were off to Granny's house.
Simple times,
the same as last year
and the year before
I love being at Granny's house.
I love the way everyone just walks in and no one even looks up when the doorbell rings.
I love the way we are never sure who is related by blood and who has been around so long they are family by default.
Everyone has at least two names they go by.
Everyone has a couple of kids that aren't' theirs tagging along.
A few faces are missing around the table
so we hug a little harder when we say goodbye.
Papa's empty chair....
BK's excitement over the fireworks....
We miss them but in the gentle way you miss someone who was well-loved, so there are no regrets.




So listen with me , this woman who is tired of seeing condos built on beaches I've played on all my life....
My favorite verse of
 "This Land is Your Land"
As I was walking that golden highway
I saw a sign that said "private property"
But on the other side
It didn't say nothin
This land was made for you and me"

All Y'all be independent,now!

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