Neighborhood Watch

well,it's a dognose day here in La (wet and cold) & I'm sitting here with the first cup of coffee,hoping I have time to write before everyone wakes up & the panic of morning begins.

I have a story I can't wait to tell.

We had these nighbors when we lived out in the country by the bay. They are great people, our dear & well-loved friends. We'll call them Jack & Audrey for the purpose of this tale.Jack is a gentlemanly guy, about 60. He never says a bad word about anyone, never tells an off-color joke. He has an inordinante fondness for liquid refreshment and smokes to the point that it will make you cough when you stand on the porch The dear man is very careless about his health habits,to say the least, so when I went out to get the paper bfore dawn one morning and saw him lying in the front yard,I was terrified! Like the good Girl scout I am, I threw down my paper & ran to give CPR. When I turnned him over to listen for a pulse,he suddenly sat up, gave me a horrified look,pushed me aside & ran into the house.

I said to myself,"well, I guess he recovered'

A few minutes later,I got a phone call from Audrey ,who was laughing hysterically,"What did you do to my husband?,she managed to gasp." He says he was lying in the yard ,minding his own business, when you tried to perform an immoral act upon him!"

Yep,those drunk men just move me to uncontrollable passion every time!