Sunday, August 17, 2008

Yoga Feels Better Than Sex

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this entry.
I'm not sure what to do with realization I've come to mentioned in the title.
It's just that I wake up stiff some mornings
and so does my husband......

My husband
source of most of my joy
and much of my irritation
Do those of you who have been in a relationship a long time feel like this?
Some days I listen to old love songs
and I feel so disappointed....
the inevitable lies and hurts
 that build up over the years overcome me...
then I see him
and it's like the turn of a kaleidoscope
all I see is the charm and the gentleness in him I loved from the start
through the lens of the laughter,
 the babies,
 the fun
 and the stories that aren't funny to anyone else but us.
He is the only one that knows the me I once was....
So I guess I'll keep him.

Work is so hard.
I hve been transferred to the Multiple Disabled unit
I have 3 kids in wheelchairs
2 of them are also blind and deaf
I have 2 autistic kids and a brain injured child who are communication impaired.
They stay with me all day.
Plus I have to pull 11 other kids as a resource teacher.
I have 2 paraprofessionals who are wonderful
but the principal pulls one of them in the morning.
It takes 2 people just to change a child
3 of us to feed them
and that does not even allow for teaching time.
What if there was a fire?
I have made an appointment to talk to the principal
She is a very crazy uptight woman.
We shall see how that goes..
I think I will love it once I get things straightened out where I know what I'm doing.

When I pulled up at the house Friday
my son out law
pulled up at the same time
"Can we go in the house?", he said.
"I have something to show you"
He and Mariah have been together since she was 16
They are 27 and 30 now.
He shows me a wedding band and a rock the size of the end of my index finger.
"why now?" I asked after the crying and hugging.
"GG (my mom) is getting so forgetful and I know she'd like to be part of it"
So Mariah didn't know yet
and Caitlin and I have to keep our mouths shut....
She called me last night and said they were engaged.
"In what?' I asked innocently
"Oh,come off it, Mom, I know you know!'

and the circle turns again.


rdautumnsage said...

Wherever you went with this entry, it left me with a profound understanding life has those gentle moments with tears and laughter, AND it has those irritations that make you want to pull your hair out. In the end it not one of those things, rather all of it that make it worthwhile. Congratulations to Mariah sounds like she has a keeper. (Hugs)Indigo

karebear4x4 said...

you ride the roller coaster  you endure the long haul  you juggle all that you can  you scream at the top of your lungs(even if it's quietly)  you get thru it all  it shapes and changes you, but you come out to recognize just what you're really made of and who you truly are   it's all made you into what you're meant to be  simply the best my friend  you're simply the Best!~kbear

toonguykc said...

Yep...very few love songs can capture all the emotions, trials and misadventures that actually compromise love.  Same with poetry.

Very nice entry.


deshelestraci said...

I don't know...we didn't do any yoga last night and I felt pretty good!  LOL
Congrats on your daughter's engagement!  Good luck with your job.  You have my prayers on that one!  I've seen this over and over.  I wouldn't get my special ed. certification for anything.  Those who do have my utmost respect!

kamdghwmw said...

I have beening feeling very down. Rusty and I love each other, but man we are in such a rut! What happened? I use to have hopes and dreams. Now I don't even know if I can remember what those dreams are. Maybe some day when the children leave the house we can reconnect.

jmorancoyle said...

    As far as the first part of your entry, ah, ya. I treasurer times when we can sit and discuss things intelligently without teasing or picking on each other. Then there are days when either of us are so sarcastic you'd wonder how we stayed together for so long. My niece and her husband are getting a divorce after only two years.There are times when she said they are the perfect companions. But then there are times when they have real fights. I think that is so sad. You can't appreciate the good times without dealing with the bad. You just hope and pray that there are more good times than bad. At least that's how I feel.
    About the second part of your entry..... I've said it before and I'll say it again. Special ed teachers are special people. Good luck to you. I hope you soon have everything worked out and life running smoothly. (Okay, pretend you hear the music cut in now.)..... You are my hero!.....
    Congrats to Mariah, to you and Caitlin and to everyone else.

gazker said...

Maybe I should try yoga too ;-) The other night we were laying in bed both reading. He says to me, 'do you think we'll ever have sex again?' I turned, smiled and said 'no' and carried on reading Living etc............ Sad, but over the years, we've become soul mates. We hug, we are very tactile, we cuddle and kiss, we even sleep wrapped round each other. As for the raunchy stuff, I think I'd just giggle all the way through it.
He too is my joy, but the source of irritation too, but live without him? Never.
Gaz xxxxx

lurkynat said...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (goofy smile)
Best Wishes with Maria h and her fiance! How cool is that?:)
I know you've been wishing for this Mariah and I'm very happy for you!
love ya,natalie

ukgal36 said...

circle of love...beautiful..

bhbner2him said...

Don't worry sweetie, there are days when my Pete is the most disgusting human I ever knew.  And there are days when he's my sweet, charming baby.  And days when he is my hero and helper.  Days when he's the last person I want to talk to and days when he's the only one I can talk to.  I think it's normal.  Or I could just be off my rocker.  ;o)  -  Barbara

bgilmore725 said...

About the good husband: I have one (33 years!) and I'm thinking the reason I keep him is because #1, I love him, and #2 he loves me. After that all the reasons get muddled together and hard to explain. There's comfort in having him around, and I suppose he feels the same about me. Sex is alive after 55!

About the teaching: ugh, you have your hands full. You need another paraprofessional. I hope you get one. Did you know you were going to get the transfer before it went through? You'll be lifting kids all day long, big kids, too. My back would not hold up for that kind of rigor. Please appeal to your principal!

About the circle of life: awww! Caitlin is getting married! I just got home today from a wedding shower for my friend's daughter. I was the designated photographer... it was lovely, but the memories of being very much like an aunt to the daughter... felt kind of nice being part of their family again, celebrating their upcoming wedding (September). She introduced us to everyone as her Godparents... it's an honor we embrace. May your daughter's wedding plans go well. bea

ng2000news said...

Valuable resource of Yoga news summaries: