spring ,heroes, pigs and shotgun

Spring always makes me happy....

I feel like a pioneer

I have made it through another winter!

Now, it's Spring Break

JazzFest

Camping

Beachtime

We are happy here on the Porch.

My friend, Stacey, BIL Patrick  and SIL Eileen , Karen and Victoria came to help us dye eggs.

Some background here...

Stacey is one of the infamous Lagoonatics from Bay St Louis, MS.

Patrick is the man you want on your side, (also known as Bianca if you read the strange tale of Bianca Patrick)

 He has been flying back and forth to Dallas at least once a month to care for an old friend who is dying with cancer.

He also cared for his dad in his last days, helped take care ofTom's sister before she passed, and was his mom's caregiver until her death.

He is ever cheerful, always joking, always comes when I call.

He is one of my heroes.

Eileen is one of the bonus gifts I got when I married Tom.

She is the go-to person for the whole family.

Need a baby-sitter?

Aunt Eileen

Need sugarless gum for your husbands Easter basket?

Eileen.

And it's a BIG family!

This is the way Karen came into my life...

Caitlin put up a sign at a local store, advertising that she would babysit.

Victoria came to our house.

It had been so long since I had a 7 year old to play with, that I quite took over Caitlin's job.

Tom and I became her grandparents.

Boy, Mariah is relieved now that the pressure is off of her!

We soon brought her mom Karen into  our circle.

She is my ally and partner in good times and bad, but the bad is never too bad when you have a  friend right up the road.

Karen is from Brazil and speaks excellent English with a beautiful accent.

Sometimes slang and "southernisms" confuse her.

For months, when she and Tori would come to pick me up Tori would be in the front seat and I would say,"I call Shotgun!" and Tori would get in the back.

Finally, Karen said"WHAT does that mean?"

I was astounded, "Some person gets into your car yelling shotgun at you for months and you are just now asking?What ,did you think I'd shoot out your tires?"

So I had to explain the wild west movies when the cowboys are riding on the top of the stagecoach, one drives and one rides next to him to shoot the bad guys.

Hence, riding next to the driver is the shotgun position....

Guess it didn't translate well!

We use a lot of weird sayings on the Porch.

We have these ancient home movies (the kind made with a big projector that are jerky and a little too fast) of little 4 year old Tom in his suspenders riding a pig

yes, a pig

why would anyone do that to a baby?

well, he is on the pig, the pig runs real fast and he is in the mud

here they come again

run run run splat...

in the mud

Aghast, I said,"did you like it?"

"Hell,no, I didn't like it. The pig didnt' like it, the farmer didn't like it, the farmer's wife didn't like it, nobody liked it!"

So a particularly bad night is one when we all" rode the pig."

there's another one....

Jack, our giant black dog, sleeps with us.

We cuddle him

One night, Tom sleepily looks over and says,"I think we got the wrong end of the dog this time."

So here's a happy spring to all of you from the people of the Porch,

wishing you call shotgun all the way home,

 hoping you dont have to ride the pig

and never get the wrong end of the dog.

 

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My Dad

My dad wasn't my dad yet in this pic.

He was in his early 20's fighting a war.

Sometimes I think he was always fighting it.

He loved me.

I loved him.

We just never quite clicked.

The teen years were hard on us both.

Lots of words said that can never be called back.

Hearts bruise so easily.

I wish I could tell him it was all okay

It doesn't hurt any more

but he cant hear me now

and it would be a lie.

I hate to hear people whine about their childhoods.

It's over

It's done

And it wasn't bad

just not good enough.

so I learned

laugh loud

love hard

 

never hold back

take the extra step

reach out your hand

hold the ones you love close

stay as late as you can for as long as you can

'cause the night is never long enough

we all have to go home.

and we'll be a long time gone.

 

It's a lovely night on the porch....

planting things makes me think of my dad

he spoke roughly to his only daughter

 but his hands were gentle with his plants

all day I coaxed plants from pots into the ground

with the hands he gave me

we grew something together.

Thanks, Dad.

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cheerleading convention

I thought gymnastic meets were an adventure...

long rides

cold bleachers

tiny girls hurling themselves past you at inopportune moments....

cheerleaders are like gymnasts on crack!

with ribbons...

and the sweetest faces....

Caitlin went to the Nationals in Atlanta.

HUGE place

girls puting on makeup and bouncing off each others's shoulders in every nook and cranny

I drove in Atlanta

bumper to bumper

80 miles an hour

in the dark!

I got rid of all my phobias at once!

I hate to drive at night & have an unreasonable fear of interstates....they require too much commitment, you can't turn around!

But I did it!

And I had fun!

I only took two Ativan.

It was a big deal for me!

I am free!

And all it took was a cheerleader who just happens to be my daughter & needed her mom.

I can do anything now!

 

sex and substitutes

I was talking to an adorable Kindergartener the other day.The conversation got into the subject of her mama going to work.

She lisped,"you can call my mama if you ever need a good prostitute."

Imust have looked like I was drowning momentarily, because she added in the tone one uses to speak to the simple-minded,"If you can't come to work, just call her and she'll prostitute for your class."

I gotta meet this woman!

The Strange Tale of Bianca Patrick

I didn't want any of my friends to know about my surgery.

It was right after Mardi Gras and I didn't want to bring down the party

didn't' want anyone to worry

besides, it was being done for diagnostic purposes, so I didn't want to use any sympathy now that I might need for later!

I did mention to a friend who is a nurse at a local hospital that I was going to be in and she could stop by and visit me.

Trouble is, I was not going to the hospital where she worked.(I had forgotten this with the aid of several mimosa)

My nurse friend hurt her arm trying to catch a moon pie, so she called another friend to come see me. (this is a common injury down here where we are all a little crazy from the humidity)

This dear friend, who I only see once or twice a year these days, scoured the hospital looking for me and finally somehow located me in the hospital where I was.

I was shocked to see her, especially since Mariah has not been able to stand the sight of said friend since she told her to be quiet at a Mardi Gras parade when she was 7.(this is also common, alliances are formed and family fueds are born at parades)

Meanwhile, I am trying to figure out how to get Cailtin home from school.

Caitlin called, all confused, wanting to know who on earth Bianca Patrick was.

Confused also, I was going through all the snapshots in my mind...dredging up old memories...thinking aloud in my pre-op fog.

"But why is she coming to get me at school?"Caitlin plaintively wailed

"Oh, "

"That would be your Uncle Patrick"

By the time a message goes through several people , It tends to get a bit garbled.

So I am up and about a trifle shakily this morning, after my mom called and said"I wanted to see how you were feeling and to tell you I'm out of cokes and cigarettes".

I am all awash in maternal love here!

LOL!

It's all good hereon the sunny side of the porch!

If you can't laugh about it at the time, turn it around a bit until you can get a good story out of it.

Gumbo Afternoons

                                    Gumbo Afternoons        

Here's some snapshots from my mind to share with you so you can be with me on my weekend in spirit

Friday night...Caitlin and Tom

Tom is singing to me, because I am still in a panic over my car note

"Dont worry about a thing

cause every Little thing

gonna be all right"

Caitlin is dancing behind him,

Occasionally interjecting, "It's gonna be awesome"

Saturday

A long walk in the woods with Tom Victoria and Caitlin

the sun is dappled on the ground

black eyed susans are dancing in the wind

the sky is too blue to be real

Jack the Dog is ecstatic the way only dogs can be

I love that dog

He is so goofy and full of good will

such a reprobate

Sunday I made gumbo

this is not just a meal

it is a ritual around here

you don't' just make gumbo

you invoke spirits

I saw an old friend from out of town

He has AIDS

he is doing well

He is in love

such a gesture of faith

in the face of death

I guess all love is like that though

some of us are aware of it .

I loved his love on sight

because we both love Steve

I fed my friends and family

love gathered around my table

Life is good

Party with Marti

I  have been having the best weekend ever!

Saturday we went tubing.

It was  a great group,,,Michele, her husband Scotty, Mariah, Tom , Caitlin, my niece Holley ,the little 8 year old I babysit , Victoria and I.

Let me digress a moment here....I earned these good times.

When Michelle and Mariah were teens a decade ago, I was the one who drove the Drunkmobile down country roads, looking for and collecting inebriated teens as I went.

Mariah was a wild one, but she always knew when it was time to call her mama.

She asked me once why I was never mad.

I said, "well, when the phone rings,

 at first I think it is the morgue,

then the hospital ,

then the police

by the time I get to it's just you needing a ride home,

I'm good with that"

Of course, the next morning when they were lying in bed I would vaccum under them to get my little revenge.

Yeah, it's funny now....

My eldest daughter and her renegade friend are my best buddies these days.

Her husband and her baby boy are part of our family ,too.

The circle keeps growing.

Anyway,the trip down the river was great, the water and the beer were ice cold

the sun and the smiles were warm

the trees almost met over our heads

the world was so green you could taste it.

I'm so glad I get to see a place this beautiful

with people I love.

Sunday we were pretty much comatose.

The river was low due to lack of rain, so we wound up dragging our tubes through the water a good bit.

Even the superhuman Caitlin didnt' move from the couch all day.

But Monday it was time for the beach.

We loaded up and headed across the bridge to Dauphin Island.

It's a family tradition that when we get to the top we stick our heads out of the window and scream.

Victoria said, "I love our family"

The circle grows again.

They recently passed an ordinance against drinking on the beach.

I have been drinking on that beach for 35 years.

I just found it humerous when a little red cheeked boy whose slow cousin Bubba I taught 15 years aog tells me I cant.

Maybe it's the short pants they wear.

I didnt get arrested.

Mariah said, "you're gonna have to put it in a cup like the teenagers do, Mama."

And another turn of the circle.