Sunday, December 18, 2005

storm sadness on the sunnyside

Do you know that horrible feeling?

 When you have suffered a loss too terrible to discuss,

 so you go about your day,

 feeling as content as you can,

 but there is an ache

 like a tooth you can't help prodding with your toungue?

That's how we all feel down here after the storm.

We don't talk about it a whole lot.

Many euphenisms come up.

When someone says,"oh, yeah, remember BEFORE"...

we all look at the ground

 because the speakers eyes may be tearing up

 and you can't cry anymore.

It won't help.

 You just suck it up and go on.

Because that's all you can do.

 You have to live with the knowledge that you will never feel safe again.

You know that there is no great big 911 number you can call to make help come.

 

 

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yup, know what you mean.  I'm over here in Pascagoula, flooded out of my house.  Almost every day I think of something I had "before" and then I remember "oh, yes, I don't have that anymore, I need to get another one."  It's "the house I used to live in", "the furniture I used to have",  "the books I used to have", and a hundreds of little things I so diligently moved out to the street for the trash picker uppers.  But, I'm here, living, eating, online and certainly don't have a shortage of things to keep me busy.  It is really just another way of marking time, which is what we do in everyday life anyway.
I have always had a way of dealing with those bumps in the road we all experience in life.  I just remind myself that one year from now, I will be somewhere, living in some house, driving some car, eating some food and dealing with life  in some way.  And afterall, it's just stuff.  Merry Christmas.  Keep a sense of humor.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...are there still any gains with the losses. That is what I have to look for. It seems hard to or not fair, sometimes we don't see the good things but they are there...we are just not noticing them. It is always amazing to me when people like Chris Reeve, Michael J. Fox, and my Tai Chi instructor  who has MS, (for a few examples) say it is the best thing that every happened to them. I shake my head & say how can that be? But then they example what positives they have gained and I start to see what they mean. Still seems odd but it is true too. Just a thought. Also, sometimes it does take time to realize it or see it. I'm STILL waiting for some! HA!

Anonymous said...

Hey sweetie,
I wish there was something I could do, some great words of inspiration. You've always had a wonderful spirit thats been bright on your pages, this is the spirit that will get you through your loss. Things really can be replaced, and a spirit can hurt, but never completely broken.

Wishing you well, thinking of you, and remember you can always email me if you just need to talk about the things you need to get off your chest.
Rebecca

Anonymous said...

You know you're not alone, Marti. It probably doesn't help to know that, but perhaps there is some comfort in knowing that thousands, if not millions, have been through something similar, and anyone who has lost a loved one understands that hole in the heart that can never be filled.
Hugs and best wishes,
Bon & Mal

Anonymous said...

YOU HAVE SAID IT QUITE WELL, I AM SORRY.....................STORMIE

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry.......it must be so hard to deal with it on a constant daily basis.

betty

Anonymous said...

Im so sorry Marti (((((Marti))))
We know someone here who is from Louisianna so I've herd some pretty grim tales. I hope youare okay . Does it help to journal about it or to paint?
love and hugs, natalie

Anonymous said...

I wasn't in a storm but my house burned down.  I lost everything, including my cats in the fire.  I got out of the house with just the clothes (night clothes) on my back.  Then the insurance company accused us of starting the fire ( the same day of the fire) and refused to replace anything that we had lost.  Even though the insurance company couldn't prove that we started the fire, our insurance was cancelled.  I still feel the loss.  

Anonymous said...

So sorry for you. Can only imagine your feelings. I guess this Christmas will always come with an asterisk, BUT, be thankful you lived thru it and are here for the holidays. rich

Anonymous said...

The pictures are incredible!  Mother Nature is truly amazing, unbelievable, unfathomable, and her destruction is incomprehensible.  I wish there was something profound for me to say that wouldn't sound trite, but I'm simply humbled by what you have written here.
Judith

Anonymous said...

(((Marti))))))
Im so osrry honey...IS some of the water gone now? Did they have to set up a new waterworks system?
I worry if it is still pretty bad whihc I hear it is in New Orleans please tellus more I love you
natalie