Monday, April 11, 2005

Neighborhood Watch

well,it's a dognose day here in La (wet and cold) & I'm sitting here with the first cup of coffee,hoping I have time to write before everyone wakes up & the panic of morning begins.

I have a story I can't wait to tell.

We had these nighbors when we lived out in the country by the bay. They are great people, our dear & well-loved friends. We'll call them Jack & Audrey for the purpose of this tale.Jack is a gentlemanly guy, about 60. He never says a bad word about anyone, never tells an off-color joke. He has an inordinante fondness for liquid refreshment and smokes to the point that it will make you cough when you stand on the porch The dear man is very careless about his health habits,to say the least, so when I went out to get the paper bfore dawn one morning and saw him lying in the front yard,I was terrified! Like the good Girl scout I am, I threw down my paper & ran to give CPR. When I turnned him over to listen for a pulse,he suddenly sat up, gave me a horrified look,pushed me aside & ran into the house.

I said to myself,"well, I guess he recovered'

A few minutes later,I got a phone call from Audrey ,who was laughing hysterically,"What did you do to my husband?,she managed to gasp." He says he was lying in the yard ,minding his own business, when you tried to perform an immoral act upon him!"

Yep,those drunk men just move me to uncontrollable passion every time!

21 comments:

demandnlilchit said...

now that was funny......I still can't get the mental image out of my head! Made me remember something silly that happened to me a few years back.....so now I'm gonna have to journal about it myself! lol

trishaham said...

How funny, Yet sad at the same time.

lamove04 said...

Hmmm, I suppose I might be cheerier if I imbibed more... but actually now that I think about it, I tended to get even more morose when I drank.  Your neighbor definitely sounds like a character.  --Albert

sdoscher458 said...

OMG LOL....most men would of said you made their day!...teach you to rescue somebody....Sandi http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/IJustHadToLaugh

sanforized6 said...

You're shameless! LOL. rich

judithheartsong said...

oh my.... that is too funny!!!!!!! judi

mlrhjeh said...

That was SOOO funny!

Thanks for the laugh...I needed it!

Mary Louise

http://journals.aol.com/mlrhjeh/WatchingMySisterDisappear

jbenjack said...

oh my too funny!!!

mumma4evr said...

I loved your story!!!http://journals.aol.com/mumma4evr/Mumma4evrslifeorlackthereof/
Becky

mutualaide said...

Oh, to have an interesting neighbor such as he!  LOL

jen73169 said...

How Funny!!
Jennifer

realitycheckmco said...

That's Brilliant! Too funny.. guess he was on a bender.
M

stormie4851 said...

TOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY....................STORMIE

gatorspictures said...

LMAO!!! C

ldebbiedeb7 said...

LMAO! VERY CUTE STORY...CONGRATS ON EDITOS PICK.....D

galadriel92000 said...

 Your life sounds a lot like mine!  LOL   I get into all sorts od situations...and can never quite understand HOW!
  Ever mailed your truck?   While you were driving it?   I tried to mail a letter at a drive in mailbox...I had a small pickup with a camper....and roll out windows...which were the exact height of the mailbox slot....and it went right in...as I was driving away...the box came off the concrete pad...and was hanging off the side of my truck...until it fell off..in the center of a very busy road!
   Now I can either run away..and hope no one saw this(Yeah that will happen!) or go into the Post Office and confess I have just tried to steal(however innocently) the U.S. Mail...which is a felony!!
    Fortunatly...the postal employees laughed and I wasnt arrested!
You are just a child at 48!!   Having passed the big 50...and am all too rapidly cruising towards 60....I can tell you..you'll survive!!LOL
   I'll have to drop in and see what happens to you next...
      Marie in TN

gabreaelinfo said...

Very funny.
:)
Gabreael
http://journals.aol.com/gabreaelinfo/GabreaelsBodyMindSpiritJournal/

shelt28 said...


Great Journal. Congratulations on being an Editor's Pick.

Carolyn
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Visit my Journal

http://journals.aol.com/shelt28/MyLife/

celticdreamssss said...

Omg what a great journal entry.  I cant stop laughing.  Take care and congrats on being journal pick  

mykesmom75 said...

OH! that is too funny!!!

achatterbox29 said...

I loved this story.  Hilarious!  Great journal too, btw.